It is almost a decade since I went into voluntary bankruptcy. In 2006 Natalie and I had sold up and sold out to do missions work in Japan. We returned in 2008 with our second…
Browsing Category Shame
Deconstruction is not a dirty word. It’s necessary.
The deconstruction of a person’s faith seems to have gained popularity over the past few years. From my view, increasingly more podcasts, books, courses and articles seem to be made and released every year. Heck,…
Interview with Wm Paul Young. Author of the Shack.
Good news, the interview I did via Facebook LIVE with Wm Paul Young was recorded and is now on YouTube to watch (or listen to). It had over 10,000 views on Facebook and lots of…
What I like most about you
‘Do you know what I like most about you, Cadell?’ I asked my 8-year-old, as I looked in his eyes. ‘What? My lego skills? My hugs?’ He replied. Eyes wide, hoping to get it right….
Can we leave the orphan spirit behind us, please?
I’m going to tread carefully but unapologetically here among my evangelical and charismatic friends. Partly because many loved/popular preachers have given sermons on this topic, written books on the topic, and filled altars with troubled…
Don’t Care and Can’t Care… They’re not the same.
Repeat after me, “I’m not a super-human. I have limits. I matter too. I DO care. I mean well. I just can’t always care.”
People who are in pain are generally concerned with one thing: Relief. They will do what they can to not be in pain. When someone or something is not available, pain may well want to discharge through blame. So when you can’t care, and therefore won’t care, you may hear, “You DON’T care.” In most cases, this is pain talking and looking for some relief; therefore, consideration for you and your scenario is being overruled by their pain and immediate need.
The Toll of Ministry Life – Emotional health, burnout and PTSD among clergy
A previous Danielsen study found post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in one Christian denomination’s clergy that “was higher than that of post-deployment soldiers.” We need to humanise this workspace. If church workers and their families are susceptible burnout, PTSD and other mental health challenges, it’s the joint responsibility of the body of Christ to address this with humility and seriousness. We can’t afford more casualties, especially when these casualties are injured serving their people.
Restoration
March has marked 6 months in this dark hole and the last 3 weeks has been internally painful and deeply insightful as we’ve discovered keys to healing and sustenance. I thought the bankruptcy sorrow of 2013-16 had carved out enough space in my heart, but there were more inner caverns to discover. More treasure to find. More room for joy to be made.
Accountability Shift. When it’s good to care less.
She’s laying on her bed, iPad in hand. Eyes fully fixed on the screen. “What are you up to?” These are five words my teenage daughter is used to hearing from her parents as they…
What’s wrong with me?!!
It’s a question we seldom voice but is being answered anyway. A multitude of images, voices, nuances, remind us daily, without fail, that we are ‘not [_____] enough. [insert: fit, smart, wealthy, liked, connected, fashionable, loved,…
Relationship over Obedience
When we know we have compromised a relationship by breaching boundaries, guilt makes its way into the garden of our conscious. Healthy guilt potentially turns toxic and becomes shame. Shame takes root as creative avoidance…
SHAME AND DISCOVERY
Learning is actually a declaration of vulnerability because it requires an admission of not knowing. As children, we aren’t aware of the risk of admission but slowly shame writes its story deep in our hearts…